If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
