You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There's always time for handjobs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
