she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
