You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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