if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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