dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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