i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
