I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
