just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize