This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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