I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
