they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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