I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
