Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
