You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
