Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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