I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
