Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
