so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
