I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
