Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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