Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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