wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
