I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
