Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
