does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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