His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
