We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize