We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
