Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
