you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
