we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
