i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
