u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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