I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
