How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
