Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
