you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
