Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
