i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize