my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
