On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
