I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
