Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
