I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
