oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
