Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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