We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
