he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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