Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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