i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
