Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
