New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
