I CAN MOONWALK!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
