Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize