went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He told me they were just razor bumps!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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