I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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