Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize