Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
