i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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